Monday, October 6, 2008


Arguably, Saved By the Bell is the greatest program of any kind.  Arguably.  

Today, Gus Johnson's Whisper will do something inspired.  NFL QBs as SBTB episodes.  The connections will be obvious...

Vince Young: "The Substitute": When Ms. Simpson injures her back, a substitute teacher named Tony Crane takes over her class at Bayside. However, when all the girls, including Lisa, Jessie, and Kelly, fall for Mr. Crane, Zack and Slater become jealous.  You get it.

Ben Roethlisberger: "Dancing to the Max": Lisa is hurt and wins the dance contest with Screech's help.  Big Ben is hurt because Pittsburgh's O-line stinks.  Screech stinks.  It's the same.

Jamarcus Russell: "The New Girl": He was coached by Lane Kiffin, the next day, Kiffin was gone.  Where is Lane Kiffin?  On the show, Tori showed up.  Where the hell were Kelly and Jessie?  They were here last week and now they're not.  Did they try to get fired?  Were they not who you thought you hired Al Davis/Aaron Spelling? ***

Brady Quinn: "The Fight": Zack and Slater's relationship is put to the test when they fall for the same girl.  Someone is the QB of the future in Cleveland.  The 1st round bonus baby is holding the clipboard while the guy that had 6 good weeks last season is starting.  They're buds but you know it's awkward.  Especially when the Browns are 1-78 (record approximate).

Tony Romo: "Pipe Dreams": Bayside strikes oil and everyone is rich.  We all think that things will be great... then the duck gets covered in oil.  No playoff wins in 12 years.  Terrell Owens is the oil.

Drew Brees: "Fake I.D.'s": The boys make fake IDs so they can get into the greatest club of all time, 'The Attic'.  The only correlation here is that Drew Brees is the best QB in the NFL right now.  This episode had everything, including the largest cordless phone ever invented by humans.  Urban Dictionary of the Zack Morris phone.

Peyton Manning: "The Fabulous Belding Boys": Rod Belding arrives and is all popular.  He turns out to be a flash in the pan who got really lucky and he throws up prayers that somehow don't get picked and he makes that pouty face and can barely speak because he's a complete b*tch and HOWTHEF*CK DOES HE HAVE A SUPERBOWL!?!?!?!?!?  Anyway, the better Belding reasserts himself and the brother just goes away after his one episode (Super Bowl).

*** = GJW note: Leanna Creel, the girl that played Tori is now doing Progressive Auto Insurance Commercials.  This is weird for everyone and shouldn't be talked about anymore.


Matt said...

Peyton Manning as "The Fabulous Belding Boys" even watch football...flash in the pan...he has been a top QB in the NFL for the last 10 years. So what if he has only on Super Bowl Ring that one more than Dan Marino, would you call Dan Marino a flash in the pan?

AdamAnt said...

Sage Rosenfels As the episode where the girls start a band do a video then Jesse starts popping pills and loses her mind.