Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Don't Believe The Hype

On the Today Show... today, they had a political expert on who said that if Obama is elected president, he'll have to spend a good deal of time and effort managing the enormous expectations that his candidacy has created.  Basically, he'll have to say 'relax bruh' to America.  We've seen this kind of hype before... in sports.  How about some of these:

-Harold Miner: The next Jordan/Baby Jordan.  Blah blah blah.

Remember that time when Harold Miner was out of the league after 4 years?  We do.  He may not have played defense, but at least he couldn't shoot.

-Ben McDonald: unless you grew up an Orioles fan (which we did), you can't possibly know the extent of the hype this guy got.  This was to be the Orioles' answer to Roger Clemens.  A workhorse who would win 20 games a year, strike out 300, pitch for 15 years, retire and open a restaurant in the area that everyone would go to and remember the time he pitched in the World Series and struck out 46 batters in 9 innings.  That's not quite how it turned out.

-Todd Van Poppel: we couldn't find a picture of him because A's fans deleted them all from the internet.  

-Brian Bosworth and Tony Mandarich: they are always on these kinds of lists.  Everyone knows about them and they should know about them.  What do they have in common?  Mullets in their primes.  Let that be a lesson to you kids, you can do steroids all day and twice on Sundays but you cannot get away with having a mullet.  

-Joe Smith: While he's still in the NBA and has carved out a nice career for himself, the dude went #1 over all.  Everyone, yes everyone, thought he was going to be a monster.  11 and 7 for your career is not a monster... unless it's the dreaded 11 and 7 monster that is always threatening peaceful villages and stealing chickens from the coop.  Is it coop or coup?  Anyone know?

-Akili Smith: Ha!  Right in your mouthpiece Bengal fans.

-The Sega Dreamcast: No one made games for it.  They thought it would beat the Playstation and change the world.  It did except for the exact opposite.

-Lamb: It's like this super gourmet meat that is really expensive and it's supposed to be really exciting when it's on the menu.  1) No where near as good as steak  2) Weird texture to the meat  3) You've always got to deal with so much bone.  Why is their so much bone?

-Peter Warrick: People don't tend to think of him when they... well they just don't think of him.  We saw him in college so many times and anointed him the next greatest thing in the NFL.  Still, to this day, Gus Johnson's Whisper has no idea how that guy isn't a unique NFL weapon.

-Foreign NBA players not named Dirk Nowitzki or Pau: Think about this collection of dudes that were drafted high and are just guys on a roster: Bargnani, Ji, Darko, Danilo, Primoz Brezec, a dude named Tsakalides and more.

-Herschel Walker bobsledding: Do not tell me how many push ups and sit ups a guy does per day and finish out of the medals.  7th place does not butter the biscuit.

Also, why does no one talk about how weird it is that a super-jacked balck dude has the same name as the yiddish guy that runs the incredible deli around the corner from my apartment?

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