Showing posts with label gus johnson. Show all posts
Showing posts with label gus johnson. Show all posts
Friday, September 18, 2009
Friday, June 19, 2009
Top This!
We cannot believe how amazing this video is. Absolute genius in a time of non genius. Enjoy.
Friday, March 27, 2009
The Ultimate Paradox
This is weird you guys. Gus Johnson, THE Gus Johnson, knows about our blog. He may have even seen the blog. Our hero, the inspiration for our entrance into the blogosphere, the best play by play guy alive, he knows about the blog.
The quick back story. Our boy, The World's Ombudsman, had some great Knicks tickets the other night. Our other buddy is employed by the team (it is not James Dolan and/or Isaiih Thomas), so TWO got to hang out in the tunnel during halftime. It happened to be the game where the team honored Knicks legends (including our favorite childhood player Bernard King). TWO is gazing upon all these legends before they are announced and is quickly introduced to someone... that someone happens to be Gus Johnson.
TWO informs him of our blog. At first, Gus is a bit perplexed by the title. TWO explains that it's in deference to his incredible calls and the energy he brings, reversing the trend of smug sportscasters who are too cool for the huge moments in sports (Joe Buck). They talk for a few minutes, then part ways. Our Knicks buddy may have even shown Gus our blog.
Are we happy about this? What if he didn't like it? What the hell do we do if he doesn't like it? Can you just walk up to your hero and show him the diorama you made for school? What if he's like, 'that doesn't look like me'?
There's no one better than him. We've said it all along. He's the reason we started this blog. Keep doing what you're doing Gus. From all of us at the Gus Johnson's Whisper blog team, thank you for doing what you do.
Saturday, March 21, 2009
Running Diary of Round 1
On Friday March 20th, Gus Johnson’s Whisper got together with The World’s Ombudsman to watch the tournament. The following is a running diary.
Running Diary:
1PM-GJW arrives at the TWO’s apt. We eat dumplings. The full meal cost $4. Recession b*tches.
1:10-1:30-We look at facebook pictures.
1:30-CBS gives us Gus Johnson then takes him away. This is a cruel act.
1:31-GJW makes the first joke about Jim Spanarkal (who is partnered with I-an Eagle). One of the jokes involves the word ‘merkel’.
1:33-The OK St./Tenn game comes on because it’s close. Vern Lundquist. Really? This feels like figure skating. This game is a reminder that the Big XII and SEC were really terrible this year.
1:38-We realize that when you watch games online on NCAA.com, you can’t switch games during commercials. We both realize this is smart because that’s exactly what you want to do but it’s also annoying because that’s exactly you want to do.
1:45-Gus Johnson is back. Len Elmore tells us that turnovers are bad for a team with a lead. There was some confusion over this. Settled!
1:46-TWO informs us that he picked North Dakota State to beat Kansas. This is not a good pick, even if they win, it’s still not good. This is like someone bragging about how early they wake up in the morning. You know what? I’m more rested than you because sleep is awesome.
1:48- Gus Johnson is building his excitement. 3 point game with 14 to play. Kansas is nervous. GJ is excited. He can sense that upset. He’s like a lion stalking a herd of gazelle on the African plains.
1:52-NDST makes a bucket. We discuss the white wash and how awkward it is for the one black guy on the bench. What music gets played in the locker room?
1:55-TWO explains the definition of a ‘Cheap 6’. We can’t link to it here but it’s fascinating.
1:56- Gus Johnson compares a SDST player to Steve Nash and accuses him of being ‘A BALLER!’ We love Gus Johnson.
1:58-Applebees Commercial. Who goes to Applebees? Like who says: ‘I need to hit up the Bees right now or I’ll be so angry I could spit’?
2:00-GJ is just carrying Len Elmore right now. LE is reading off stats with the excitement of a librarian on lithium. Why can’t they just pair GJ with Raftery? I guess that makes too much sense.
2:03-GJ makes a joke about Archie Bell. Who in hell is Archie Bell? It’s as awkward as it sounds.
2:04-A BS charge is called against NDST. The charge is ruining basketball. We blame Duke.
2:06-NDST has no answer for Collins or Aldrich. The 3s aren’t falling. Yet, they are only down 5. Ben Woodside. Remember that name. Remember it because you’ll never see him again unless you take a tour of a national park. He’ll be giving the tour.
2:07-GJ has to read a promo for the Mentalist. We’re going to have to watch the show now. That’s how good GJ is, he makes terrible crime dramas on CBS sound serviceable.
2:15-Kansas goes up 10. GJ says they are beginning to ‘stiffen up’ the D. See you later Gus. We’re changing games now.
2:18-Shot of Travis Ford, Oklahoma State’s coach. TWO and GJW discuss how he could pull a great Billy Hoyle routine on an all black court in LA. ‘I may be a chump. Just saying that ain’t my name. I played for Pitino.’
2:20-Verne Lundquist says ‘double bonus’. It sounds like he’s talking about a real estate deal. He fits college hoops like a bear fits into a book club.
2:23-GJW and TWO eat a Clementine. How good are clementines? Why are they not called ‘lil’ oranges’. Or ‘Lornges’?
2:27-OSU calls a timeout. Tie game with 1:30 left. What are they discussing? ‘Hey, listen up! Neither of these teams should be in the tourney. One of us should be St. Mary’s. So get out there and be futile.’
2:29-Raftery uses ‘physicallity’ and ‘whirling derivsh’ in a sentence. Awesome.
2:31-OSU ball down 1, 10 seconds…. AND 1! Wow! Raftery… ‘THE KISS!’ ‘Loungerie on the DECK!’ He’s incredible.
2:33-Quick cut to Marquette icing it against Utah St. If Utah is a state university, why do you need Utah State? Sell the naming rights.
2:34-The color guy on the Marquette game said this: ‘The best case for Utah State here is for Marquette to miss both free throws. The second best case is for him to miss 1.’ We are unsure as to the 3rd best scenario.
2:36-Tennessee loses. Sad. No more Bruce Pearl. Quick cut to Marquette. Utah State banks in a 3 to go down 2 with 23 left. It’s interesting again. We feel bad for Marquette because they lost a great player on a freak injury. They would have been a much better team. Now, they’re Utah State good.
2:38-We check our email. We get an email from Williams Sonoma. We’re on a mailing list b/c of a wedding registry. The couple is now divorced. Where are we in the settlement? We sunk $ and energy into that thing and we get nothing back. We’re still deleting emails every other day from Pottery Barn too. See what we’re saying?
2:41-Marquette wins. Exciting game. Think about what we said Utah State… think about it.
2:45-Temple/Arizona State is just starting. This will be our definitive ‘Evaluation of James Harden and wether he should be a top 10 pick like everyone is saying.’ We’re trying to be unbiased but we’re leaning towards ‘not’.
2:57-Deonte Christmas drills another 3. Temple sucks but this dude is nasty. Someone could do a lot worse than drafting this guy… a lot worse like James Harden? It’s not like they’re matched up against each other so you can get a good comparison.. what's that? They're covering each other... Ah... Let's move on.
2:59-Gene Hackman does Loes voiceovers. He’s done it for years. Gary Sinice is doing Army ads. Neither of these guys needs the $. You can’t book another voiceover guy for these things?
3:00-Why is it ‘I-an Eagle?’ It’s ‘ee-an’ for everyone else. If we knew him, we’d never stop pointing this out.
3:03-bad pass comes to Harden. He could have gone down 1 on 1 in transition. Instead, he pulls back and runs the offense. Wouldn’t lottery picks just go score there? The answer is yes. We don’t get it.
END PART 1
Monday, February 23, 2009
East Coast Bias and the Oscars
Congratulations have to go to East Coast Bias, a quality sports blog that is well written and humorous. We're not mad, you snooze, you let someone else post your idea first.
We were going to write this very column when the calendar turned to March:
Well, ECB, did it in February. Right in our mouthpieces. They were ahead of the curve over there.
We'll now lay down in the fetal for a spell, thinking about what we've done.
We'll toss this clip in because it's all we have:
Last random thought, did anyone watch the Oscars last night? We felt like, with every award read outloud, they should have said: 'And for some reason, not the Dark Knight.' What disrespect.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
If If If.. You Had A QB... That You...Needed to Win You A Game... That QB... Would Be Brett Favre
The Favre is gone, baby. He told the Jets he's retiring. He's told people a lot of things. Maybe he'll get the itch again and ruin another team.
Here's a good rundown of just some of the damage he did to the Jets:
When the Jets got off to a hot start, all the Favre apologists and tv talking heads like Skip Bayless,
were busy running Green Bay under the bus and praising Favre as a godsend for the Jets. Nevermind that the Jets were all of a sudden able to stop the run with a healthy Kris Jenkins and an improved defense that was a laughing stock the year before and the addition of quality, veteran offensive lineman allowed them to run the ball effectively. I'm certain Thomas Jones has always been that good and was just biding his time before really applying himself. A$$.
It is stunning to GJW how few people get it when it comes to certain guys. If the squad you root for had a 2nd year guy who decided he wasn't going to do the off-season workouts, show up for team activities, but would make himself available for quotes from the press about the things he needs to come back and play for your team. You'd be pissed right?
When you are a professional, you have to act professionally. That's it. The 'will he/won't he?' dance that this ego maniac has done for the last 4 off-seasons is stunning. The running teammates under the bus, the astounding demands from management based on his perceived iconic status, and the poor play as a direct result of a lack of preparation and commitment area all enough for us to wish good riddance to favre, brett.
We must never forget the back-breaking interceptions that led to defeats. 52 other men worked too hard to have their fates decided by a 'gunslinger' trying to make a hero play. Never forget, we live in a world where Eli 'Back-Foot-Under-Pressure-Throw-It-Up-And-Hope-The 6'5" Gazelle-Who-Shot-Himself-Will-Catch-It' Manning has a Superbowl win. It's because of Favre.
Players have to be accountable to their teammates. Favre, Brett has not been accountable for some time. This is not debatable. If you believe otherwise, you can form your squad with the Pacmans and the TOs and let all of us 'haters' explain to you why your squad self-destructs.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
I Feel Deep Regret
By now, you've all seen it. If you haven't, being Amish in 2009 must be going great:
It's the complete Alex Rodriguez interview with Peter Gammons.
Yawn.
A-Rod has been schooled in phony PR since he was an 18 year old senior at Miami Dade Christian High School. He never speaks out of turn, always says 'the right thing', and is generally as boring and manufactured a media figure as you'll find. It's smart though. People can't stand this guy and yet, he mints money. He's in everything and has signed 2 different 10 year contract worth over $25o million. Have you met my friend here, Mr Ho-Lee Sheet?
Here is the official reaction of Gus Johnson's Whisper to these developments;
-He did himself a service by his 'admission' (we put it in quotes because he says things like 'I admit to being naive' which are attempts to remove some culpability on his part). If you look at the sh*t shows that guys like Bonds, McGwire, Palmeiro etc have/are going through, the best course is to come clean. Of course A-Rod came about as clean as a pair of underwear worn by a man for 52 days in a row.
-We're still taken aback at all the 'surprise' that people seem to be feeling. Everyone knew. It was around. Guys that we played with in summer ball, guys that we knew from being around baseball etc. everyone of them had a story about a guy who was using or whole teams using, clubhouse attendants going on roid runs like they were picking up soda, and so on. Everyone knew.
-We get upset at the 'moral outrage' of columnists/pundits (like the NY writer who said the yankees should release A-Rod no matter what the cost). It's so easy to 'take a stand' against this sort of thing. They can't affect wether or not a guy is allowed to play so they strike in the only forum they can, Hall of Fame voting. Because they don't sit on MLB rules committees, or participate in hearings, or have any influence on who is allowed to play, they use their little pulpits to express their opinions. We get annoyed at sportswriters inserting themselves in the debate.
-Of course it's long overdue to have effective testing. No one should argue differently. No one was complaining after the strike, when all the homeruns and Cal's streak brought fans back. It's the dirty little secret that owners turned a blind eye and rewarded guys with deals. For every A-Rod, there were 3 dozen guys who were just trying to get 1 big free agent deal.
-We ask where you draw the line. Meaning, we all agree that roids are wrong. Fine. But, 162 over 7 months is beyond hard. Can guys not take caffeine pills but drink strong coffee? Can guys not eat lots of carbs on gamedays because they can get energy? What suppliments are OK and what are not? Everyone's body is different so a suppliment might not help one guy but change another's entire game. It's a weird time because we don't know where you can draw the line.
-In sum, we're not bothered by guys that did it. It's easy to cast a stone, call it wrong, and move on. We for one, don't particularly care if a guy did or didn't. The culture rewarded it and now, the culture is being changed. Each player had to live with his decisions, weighing $ against long term health, his chance to keep his dream alive for another season or 2 against begging for a spring training invite while ignoring the writing on every wall. Pro sports are merciless and cruel. 99% of the time, guys are let go without ceremony and the season goes on. Guys that have worked their entire lives have everything they know taken away from them by a handshake from an assistant GM who has a computer program that measures defensive efficiency. We don't care. Make your choices but be prepared to live with them.
Friday, January 9, 2009
No Mas
Genius. It is a word that is thrown around liberally these days. Anyone from a funny comedian, a weird director, to a kid who is good at math, we over-use the word. This isn't normally a huge deal. It is however a big deal, when you encounter something that cannot be described any other way. No superlative suffices, no adjective properly describes, and no feeling can quantify how we felt when we saw this:
If you don't know what that is, leave this blog at once. It's Bo from Tecmo Bowl. That alone isn't enough to qualify as genius. The fact that this is the image on a T-shirt from the folks at NO Mas, is genius. Quite simply, this is the greatest t-shirt ever made. Here is a Dr. Jack Ramsey style breakdown of why Tecmo Bo is the best ever:
-The people that immediately get it will compliment you instantly.
-The people that don't get it right away will ask you or someone else. People are talking about you.
-With this shirt, you are showing some things: 1) You admire greatness 2) You have a sense of history 3) You carry on the legacy of the most gifted athlete ever to walk the Earth. 4) You were nasty enough at Tecmo Bowl to take several teams to the title. 5) The term 'Run 1' means something to you. 6) You can guess other people's plays. 7) You are secure with who you are and how you got there.
-You are visually smacking the faces of hipsters and other chooches that wear ironic t-shirts and skinny jeans. This shirt is hilarious and not because it's a vintage yard sale product.
-Wearing this shirt is like throwing up a gang sign, except that everyone ever is in this gang and no one will die. We all rep these colors.
We have had an amazing time perusing their website:
They have so much wonderment. If Gus Johnson's Whisper was a rich blog, we would buy 2 of everything. Alas, we are going to have to roll with the Tecmo Bo T-shirt that arrived in the mail. So tight.
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Hadoken! Gus Johnson, Street Fighter.
ESPN the Mag had a nice little bit about our resident hero, Gus Johnson. You can check it out here:
We've been arguing, with anyone who would listen, that you simply have to bump the team of Jim Nantz and Billy Packer off the huge college hoop games. Nantz is a solid sportscaster. He really is. You know where we want our solid sportscasters? Game #3, the 4th biggest event of the weekend, with the B crew etc. He tells you what happens. That's tight in golf where you have to be all quiet or Tiger Woods will snap at you, but not in the frantic, hectic, and insane NCAA tourney.
Give us Gus Johnson and give him to us every single time. He makes terrible games decent, great games transcendent, and makes every other announcer out there sound like Ben Stein. Recently, we did a radio show with the stats guy from the NFL announcing team of Gus Johnson and Steve Tasker. Stats Guy also worked with GJ during March Madness. He told us this:
'Higher seeded teams got scared when they saw Gus was working the game. They would talk about it. I'm not kidding. They got nervous. The players know. They saw all those Davidson games, the Gonzaga upset, and on down the line. They felt like, 'oh sh*t, Gus Johnson always calls those upsets.'
How about that bruh? He's the best. No one can match the genuine excitement he brings. It's not forced, it's real. The dude just loves it.
We've often been asked, who should his partner be? Who is the college hoops dream team?
It's not Vitale, he's a chucklehead.
It's not Clark Kellog, although he's under rated.
It's not Packer because, as stated above, he is the worst.
It's not Jay Bilas because f*ck Duke.
It's not Len Elmore, although he'd be second on our list.
It IS Bill Raftery.
Sample dialogue:
GJ: 'Shot clock is turned off. UCONN, down 2, 8.5 seconds left to play.'
BR: 'They'll be looking for a dribble drive here. Jimmy Calhoun, so good at setting up what he wants. Putting people in place... ORCHESTRATING'
GJ: 'Roy Williams now, calling out instructions.'
BR: 'He wants Hansborough to guard the inbounder. No easy passes.'
GJ: 'We're set to go here. Dyson to inbound for UCONN... He does to Price in the backcourt... Drives on Lawson... KICKS IT OUT TO DYSON..... AT THE BUZZER.... OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!'
BR: 'THE ONIONS!!!!!!!'
GJ: 'OH MY! WHAT A GAME! UCONN, AT THE BUZZER! JEROME DYSON!'
BR: 'They drew it up Gus. Price on the clearout, draws the defender, kicks it to Dyson... Gets the puppies set............... FERTHREE' (note, the tightness of Bill Raftery saying 'for three' in the superfastRaftery voice cannot be measured)
God that would be awesome. Not only because of the GJ/Raftery combo but because Tyler Hansborough would be making his eli manning/hansborough I just got fouled with no call combo face. That would be great.
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Otherwise... You Make a Move
Here at Gus Johnson's Whisper, we love to analyze things. Here is something that has needed analyzing for many years. The following is a transcript of the conversation between Tony Montana and Alejandro Sosa. This is the part where Sosa questions if Tony is trustworthy and Tony's response:
Sosa: So how do I know
you're not a chivato, too, Tony?
Tony: Let's get this straight now.
I never fucked anybody over in my life
who didn't have it coming. You got that?
All I have in this world is my balls
and my word and I don't break them...
...for no one, you understand?
That piece of shit up there,
I never like him, I never trusted him.
For all I know, he had me set up and
had my friend, Angel Fernandez, killed.
But that's history. I'm here, he's not.
You want to go on with me, say it.
You don't, then you make a move.
We tried to find a clip of that to give you a visual but we couldn't. You all know what we're talking about though. Tony is standing on Sosa's property, surrounded by armed guards, no allies for hundreds of miles, and no chance of escape. He offered Sosa a choice:
Option 1: If it is your desire to do business with me, I am amenable to this. I only ask that you voice this desire at this time.
Option 2: If you do not wish to conduct business with me for any reason, not only do I understand, but I ask that you initiate an action that will undoubtedly result in my death.
Sosa, of course, chose option 1 and the movie goes on. But what if he had chosen option 2? What does Tony Montana do right there? The breakdown:
-Tony tries to take Sosa hostage and make an escape.
Why it could work: Sosa is the boss and has tons of power. He could order his small army to stand down; figuring that he could take Tony and everyone he has ever cared for out later. So he might let Tony get out of there and get back home to Miami.
Why it wouldn't work: Tony presumably has no weapon. How is he going to take Sosa hostage? With awesomeness? You can't take a guy in a choke hold for hundreds of miles without something going wrong. Even a dude that was a master at choke holds like the semi-famous 'Choke Hold Jones' that used to roam the streets of Boulder, CO offering choke hold demonstrations to choke hold fans and novices who weren't really sure about their feelings on choke holds and they would need a choke hold demonstration from a choke hold master to render a verdict. Tony Montana, for all that he was, was not Choke Hold Jones.
-Tony tries to knock Sosa out then hide in the surrounding jungle
Why it could work: Tony sucker punches Sosa and knocks him out. If none of the guard army sees this, he can run through the vast cocaine fields and off of Sosa's property and into the jungle. Maybe he lives off the land for a while because he was in the army in Cuba and changes his appearance. Maybe he can smuggle himself into the US and start again by explaining to Frank Lopez that not only is Omar Suarez dead, but Sosa turned down a business proposition and opted to have me murdered...
Why it wouldn't work: Huge 'if' on the guards not seeing him and Tony making it off the property, huge! But say that he does get by them, makes his way through the vast fields of ye-yo (is that how you spell that? Whatever.), and then hides out in the jungle. Tony is a big city guy, Havana and then Miami. He's not a hobbit who lives off the land. Are you calling Tony Montana a hobbit? Because he is not. He is a political prisoner from Cuba and he wants his basic human rights... not hobbit rights.
-Tony backs off his previous hardline stance and offers another alternative
Why it could work: The idea that one has to do business with someone or murder them in cold blood seems a bit extreme no? 'Sir, would you like to purchase these goods?... No? Very well. I will now stab your neck with my shank.' Bit extreme. So Tony might have been able to reason with Sosa.
Why it wouldn't work: Come on bruh. This is not an option. How can Tony roll like that? It would be like him saying: 'All I have in this world are my balls and my word... unless that's not cool with you. Let's work it out Mr. Sosa. What's it gonna take for me to get you in a new Chevy Aveo today?' No chance.
In conclusion, the ballsiness of of saying 'do business with me or murder me' is the opposite of buying a Chevy Aveo.
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