No Mid Majors? No Problem.

There have been many who were so upset at this year's selection committee for not including a healthy dose of mid-majors. Writers like Michael Wilbon (he won't ever admit he was wrong about this or anything btw) wrote pieces like this one: http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/03/17/AR2009031703221.html

They slammed the selection committee for not giving more at large bids to 'mid-majors' instead of the usual fare from power conferences. They argued that the selection committee tried to turn the magic of march madness into the shabingus of the BCS. These arguments, in other years, might hold water but not this year. This year, college hoops is deep and heavy at the top. Let's get closer and learn about each other:

-The term 'mid-major' is misleading. There are major conferences: The Big East, ACC, SEC, Big 10, Big 12 and the Pac 10. Then there are a couple conferences with a a few good teams at the top and garbage everywhere else: Conference USA, Atlantic 10 (Teams like Memphis and Xavier compete with anyone). After that, it's piss ant conferences. There is nothing 'mid' about them at all. They are the bottom. Nothing wrong with that, it's just what it is. Take a school like Davidson, they typically go undefeated in their conference (this year was the exception because their 1 player was hurt) because they are solid and their conference is awful. If they don't win their conference tournament, they don't get in (right or wrong), this means they are a member of a small, non-power, non-major, non middle-tier, bottom-dwelling conference.

-Let's call them what they are. We'll make up a term right here... 'Bottom Toppers... Boppers.' These teams are Boppers. Ok, so Boppers have had success in recent tournaments: Davidson, George Mason, and to a lesser degree: Butler, Utah State, Western Kentucky, Southern Illinois, and so on. Boppers can jump up and compete with the 'big boys' in years when the big boys are down. Lots of things have lead to years like this: Players leaving early for the pros or going directly from high school, a broader talent pool that is evenly spread thanks to AAU and players getting more chances to play, and a lack of elite talent at the top schools. So, in years where the overall level of college basketball is down below a certain level, a school like George Mason can make some 3s, their opponents can get tight and they can win some games and fire dookies right into Billy Packer's face.

-That's not what we had this year. This year in college hoops, the big boys were really, really good. The power conferences deserved every bid they got. Let's learn some more:

Sweet 16: 5 Big East teams, 2 Big 10, 3 Big XII, 2 ACC, and then Memphis, Gonzaga, Arizona, and Xavier. 0 Boppers.

Final 8: 4 Big East teams, 2 Big XII, 1 Big 10, 1 ACC. 0 Boppers

You get the point.

-The response here is something like: 'the Boppers didn't get a chance, so we don't know how they would have done.' There is some truth to that, they didn't get a chance, but we have a pretty good idea of what would have happened.

-Concurrently, this was also a strange year in several conference tournaments. Temple, USC, Mississippi State and some other schools, quite literally, stole spots away from at-large teams. Teams like this, would not have gotten in and when they won their conference tourney's, jumped the que. This forced out some deserving teams.

-Bopper supporters would point to examples of some of the bubble teams that did get in. They will say: '_______ didn't make a run in the tournament. This is proof that their spot should have gone to a Bopper.' This is a poor argument. The implication is that if a Bopper had occupied this spot, they would have performed better. We tend to remember the incredible runs of Davidson and George Mason as the rule, rather than the exceptions they really are.

2008 Sweet 16: 3 Pac 10, 3 Big East, 2 Big 10, 2 Big XII, then Tennessee and UNC. 12 Power Conference teams. Then, Memphis and Xavier, 2 middle conference teams. Lastly, Davidson and Wester Kentucky, both Boppers. Here were some of the other Boppers in the tourney: Drake, Oral Roberts, St. Mary's, Sienna, and Kent St. Of that 2nd group, only Sienna won a game. Let it be noted that the targets of this years 'Big Conference Bias' Maryland, Wisconsin, and Arizona all won at least 1 game. Not an apples to apples comparison, just worth noting is all.

2007 Sweet 16: 3 Pac 10, 3 SEC, 2 Big XII, 2 Big East, UNC, Ohio State so again, 12 teams from Power conferences. Then Memphis from the mids. 3 teams here in the round of 16 were Boppers: Butler, UNLV, and Southern Illinois. All 3 lost for the record.

Other boppers: Creighton, Long Beach State, New Mexico St., Oral Roberts, Davidson, Winthrop and VCU. Winthrop and VCU won their first round games which were the only 2 wins for the whole 2nd crew of Boppers.

2007 showed us that when there are lots more Boppers in the tournament, their results are as inconclusive as any one else's. To assume that a Bopper would perform better in the place of another team absurd. 2006 shows us similar data. Besides George Mason's amazing run, the other Boppers in the tourney performed in the same way .

Now, the purpose of this post is not to endorse the idiotic Billy Packer who famously said that George Mason didn't belong in the tournament.

Far from it. This is to educate the casual fan, or even the passionate fan, who has knee jerk reactions and is frothing at the mouth over the lack of 'mid majors' in this year's tournament. It's to bring some calm to a tenuous situation. The vitriolic frustration over the selection committee's perceived slight of 'the little guy' should instead be seen for what it really is, the acknowledgment of the return to prominence of the 'big guy'. This was not a year for Boppers. These things are cyclical though, their time will come again.

Fin.

National Signing Day and Sitcoms

There are lots of things that Gus Johnson's Whisper loves (fast Americans at the Olympics, a well run fast break, making the extra pass, and Star Wars).  There are also lots of things that Gus Johnson's Whisper hates.  One object of our venom are recruiting class rankings.  

Like these: http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2009/football/ncaa/02/03/team-rankings/index.html?eref=T1

Lots of reasons for this and here are some of them:

-Players gain reputations and hype and this leads to an inflation/deflation of rankings

-If these scouts were actually correct, dudes like Drew Henson would have led the Patriots to 3 Superbowls.

-It is near impossible to compare the thousands of levels of football across America. Making tangible comparisons when there is such a huge disparity of talent is fruitless.

It's that last point that led to this blog.  We're going to make tangible comparisons... between the top football powers and chicks from sitcoms from when we were little.

#1 Alabama: Shelly Long. 

Making your way in the world today takes everything you got. Having a scumbag coach who can really recruit, sure does cost a lot.  See what we did there?  We never got why Shelly Long got more than a minute of Sam's time.  She was so high-maintencey; a quasi-hot chick that wasn't likeable.  You know Alabama, with their #1 recruiting class in tow, will get smoked by someone.  You know this because they'll have some 3-named quarterback who gets pummeled so hard, the hair that comes out of the back of his helmet uncurls.

#2 LSU: Justine Bateman. 

 

The show was obviously incredible and in our opinion, she was the glue guy.  She took the charges, was sweated by Skippy and every other male 80s child, and always had at least 1 great line per show.  That's how LSU is.  The SEC is always raw and it's these guys, year in and year out running 22 athletes out there, that make the conference the place of naked anger.

#3 USC: Alyssa Milano. 

 

Name someone hotter than Samantha Micelli in season 5 of Who's the Boss for a male under 14.  You can't.  You would watch that show even if it meant putting up with Danny Pintauro (The Pete Carroll of Sitcom stars).  You also know that USC will be right there in the hunt.  You also know that all that talent will occasionally have an F-up (Like Mrs. Rossini accidentally burning the Lasagna).  There will be hiccups but talent wins.

#4 THE ohio state university: Markie Post. 

 

Boooorrrrrriiiiiing.  They'll win the Big-10 then get mooshed in a bowl.  We get it, John Laroquette likes sex and Christine doesn't want to sleep with him.  At least Harry Anderson (Terrell Pryor) can do a magic trick or 2 to make the 30 minutes seem slightly more bearable.  

#5 Texas: Danica McKellar. 

 

Winnie Cooper.  Every male in the world has a Winnie Cooper.  Fact.  That's what made this show so special.  Every male has someone that he hyped up so much in his mind that he couldn't see straight, that cost him his judgment, and made him a wreck.  For Texas fans, Colt McCoy is your Winnie Cooper.

#6 Florida State: Tracy Gold.

  

Winning the ACC is like having a know-it-all goodie goodie sister that stands in the way of Mike Seaver nailing bait like a carpenter.

#7 Michigan: Nancy Mckeon.

 

An also ran on a show of also-rans.

#8 UNC: Missy Gold. 

 

Who is that?  She's from where?  Benson?  That was a show?  Really?  7 seasons?  That show ran for 7 seasons?  No f-ing way.  

#9 Georgia: Nicole Eggert.

 

Sexy pick.  They started 2008 as the #1 team in the country and they ended up on Howard Stern begging for an acting role.  Charles in Charge indeed.

#10 Florida: Soliel Moon Frye.

  

Listen, everyone knew she was going to be hot.  Adults watched the show, they knew.  Kids that watched the show, they knew.  Everyone on set and at the network, you best believe they were in the know.  It's inevitable.  You think the Florida kids are worried because Alabama had a great recruiting year?  You think Soliel looked across the lot and was worried because they were filming Small Wonder?

Randolph Childress Addendum

There was also this:

You'll never get us to believe that he wasn't so game tight.  Wow.

Super Nintendo, Sega Genesis... and Randolph Childress

The year was 1994.  We were rocking the Sega Genesis.  We woke up early that Saturday morning because we had to be at school for the team bus by 10AM.  The JV squad rolled in school vans over to Good Counsel High School where they got beaten by 13.  An amazingly skinny 14 year old freshman had 8 points, 3 assists, and a team high 7 turnovers to go with his 2 poutings on the bench, 1 talk-back to the coach, and 3 interactions with an opposing player that could be used against him in court.  Before we left the house, we set the VCR to tape the Wake Forrest/Duke game at 2:30 PM.  We were taken back when we turned on ESPN Classic last night.

Wow.

How tight was the ACC?  This is from memory because we couldn't find historical roster data.  Why is that so hard to find by the way?  To us, this is the sort of thing the internet was invented for.

Duke: Grant Hill, Jeff Capel, Cherokee Parks (he was bootsy but still played in the NBA for a spell)

Wake: Tim Duncan and our favorite college player ever, Randolph Childress.  More on Randolph in a moment.

UNC: Jerry Stackhouse, Rasheed Wallace, Eric Montross, and one of our 37 least favorite college players ever: Donald Williams.

Maryland: Joe Smith, Keith Booth, Ugly Johnny Rhodes, X-Ree Hipp, and Duane Simpkins

Note: Our boy Joe believes that Johnny Rhodes also should have been a star in the NBA.

Georgia Tech: Travis Best and we think Drew Barry?  Remember Drew Barry?

UVA: Curtis Staples, Harold Deane, and we think that Junior Burroughs was on the squad, also Cory Alexander played in the NBA although we have no idea what his game was.  What did he do?  No one knows.

Clemson: Sharone Wright,

Florida State: Bob Sura, Charlie Ward

Note: Bob Sura!

NC State: Not sure they fielded a team for a couple years after they lost Gugliotta.  We literally can't remember a single player off this team.

Back to what inspired this blog.  Sometimes, in life, there are mysteries.  The greatest mystery of all time to us is how Randolph Childress was not a star in the NBA.  He was incredible.  Is there anyone here who carried his squad (a squad that included Duncan) to an ACC title over one of the greatest college teams ever and set a record for points in a tournament?  OK, Randolph we have you... anyone else?  No?  No one that tight ever?

His game was incredible.  He was buckets, great handle, saw the court and was always under control.  So smooth.  His game was literally like an infant's buttocks... in terms of the smoothness.

We taped that game back in '94.  After we got home, showered, played through Revenge of Shinobi on Genesis (we always got unlimited shurikens and tons of extra lives so you could beat it the tight way of saving the chick and killing the boss), we rewound the tape and watched an all-time classic.

In the 1st half, Childress passed on a lot of shots and was a distributor.  Duke put the uber-athletic Grant Hill on RC.  The game went back and forth with Wake trailing by a hoop in the final minute.  Duncan was all tawkward and lanky at this point and his offensive game was like that 51 year old at the Y with rec specs.  So, Wake works the ball around to Childress with about 20 seconds left.  They clear out the side.  16 seconds.  Childress drives on Hill.  14 seconds.  Childress steps back with his super tight stepback move that no one has ever done better ever.  13 seconds.  Childress launches a 3 over the 6'8" frame and outstretched arms of Hill, the same Hill that caught a ball above the square on an alley-oop and was one of the most athletic guys ever before the injuries.  11 seconds.  Buckets.  3 pointer puts Wake up 1.  No one at Cameron Privileged Suburban Stadium knows what to do.  Hill misses a shot at the buzzer.  Wake wins.

It was a great Saturday.  Note: We did not talk to any girls.

After he was drafted by the Pistons, he hurt his knee.  He resurfaced a few years later playing in dumb leagues overseas.  We can't help but think of what he would have been in today's league with the handchecking rules.  We think he'd be 20 and 8 and be a feared crunchtime scorer.  Wow he was tight.  We'll literally never forget.

Hadoken! Gus Johnson, Street Fighter.

ESPN the Mag had a nice little bit about our resident hero, Gus Johnson.  You can check it out here:

http://sports.espn.go.com/espnmag/story?id=3797928

We've been arguing, with anyone who would listen, that you simply have to bump the team of Jim Nantz and Billy Packer off the huge college hoop games.  Nantz is a solid sportscaster.  He really is.  You know where we want our solid sportscasters?  Game #3, the 4th biggest event of the weekend, with the B crew etc.  He tells you what happens.  That's tight in golf where you have to be all quiet or Tiger Woods will snap at you, but not in the frantic, hectic, and insane NCAA tourney.

Give us Gus Johnson and give him to us every single time.  He makes terrible games decent, great games transcendent, and makes every other announcer out there sound like Ben Stein.  Recently, we did a radio show with the stats guy from the NFL announcing team of Gus Johnson and Steve Tasker.  Stats Guy also worked with GJ during March Madness.  He told us this:

'Higher seeded teams got scared when they saw Gus was working the game.  They would talk about it.  I'm not kidding.  They got nervous.  The players know.  They saw all those Davidson games, the Gonzaga upset, and on down the line.  They felt like, 'oh sh*t, Gus Johnson always calls those upsets.'

How about that bruh?  He's the best.  No one can match the genuine excitement he brings.  It's not forced, it's real.  The dude just loves it.

We've often been asked, who should his partner be?  Who is the college hoops dream team?

It's not Vitale, he's a chucklehead.

It's not Clark Kellog, although he's under rated.

It's not Packer because, as stated above, he is the worst.

It's not Jay Bilas because f*ck Duke.

It's not Len Elmore, although he'd be second on our list.

It IS Bill Raftery.  

Sample dialogue:

GJ: 'Shot clock is turned off.  UCONN, down 2, 8.5 seconds left to play.'

BR: 'They'll be looking for a dribble drive here.  Jimmy Calhoun, so good at setting up what he wants.  Putting people in place... ORCHESTRATING'

GJ: 'Roy Williams now, calling out instructions.'

BR: 'He wants Hansborough to guard the inbounder.  No easy passes.'

GJ: 'We're set to go here.  Dyson to inbound for UCONN... He does to Price in the backcourt... Drives on Lawson... KICKS IT OUT TO DYSON..... AT THE BUZZER.... OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!'

BR: 'THE ONIONS!!!!!!!'

GJ: 'OH MY!  WHAT A GAME!  UCONN, AT THE BUZZER!  JEROME DYSON!'

BR: 'They drew it up Gus.  Price on the clearout, draws the defender, kicks it to Dyson... Gets the puppies set............... FERTHREE' (note, the tightness of Bill Raftery saying 'for three' in the superfastRaftery voice cannot be measured)

God that would be awesome.  Not only because of the GJ/Raftery combo but because Tyler Hansborough would be making his eli manning/hansborough I just got fouled with no call combo face.  That would be great.