3:07-Back to Lundquist (VL)and Raftery. We get the Pitt East Tennesee State matchup. Raftery does his ‘mantoman’ thing to start the game. It’s a kind of ‘welcome to the game. I’ll be here’ kind of thing.
3:12-We realize the game we are watching is being played at Dayton. We’re wondering what the reaction is when guys find out they have to go to Dayton to play? It’s probably the same reaction guys have when they find out they’re going to the dentist.
3:13-TWO wonders if anyone from Dayton left something in their home locker room? Whoopie cushion? Turd sandwich? The possibilities are endless.
3:19-ETSU alley oop dunk. Tie game. It looks like Pitt doesn’t like to be pressed. Wonder if anyone else will notice this?
3:28-Raftery tells us that Isaiih Brown of ETSU has lots of ‘bounce to the ounce’. Is that like the formula for slope in geometry?
3:33-Shot of VL and Raftery. VL looks like a white version of ‘Grimace’. He also looks like the end boss at the end of Super Mario Brothers 2 on NES.
3:36-Dayton is up 8 on West Virginia. Looks like we were REALLY wrong about WVU. Unless they win, then we were right.
3:37-ETSU has entered the 5 guys stand around and 1 guy goes 1 on 1 mode. This does not bode well for the first 16 over a 1 upset.
3:43-The discussion of the term ‘mid-major’ leads to believe that said term is overused. It’s being used for any team that makes the tournament. Stephen F Austin is not a mid major. We coin the term ‘Minor’ and move on.
3:46-Pitt continues to struggle with the pressure. They are up 2. How are you feeling about your brackets right now Pitt fans?
3:55-Some more facebook analysis. Female pictures examined. GJW just kind of nods and agrees a lot.
3:57-Pitt has 13 turnovers in the half. ATTENTION! ATTENTION! We don’t handle the press well! Halftime up 1 over East Tennessee State. Make it 3. Basket was no good. Whatever. Ov-er-Ra-ted, duh duh duh duh duh, Ov-er-Ra-ted…
4:01-Spanarkal joke # 19 comes up as CBS switches back to ASU Temple. This joke involves spackle and a swing set. Temple is in the game because of Christmas. Harden continues to be ‘just a guy’. Enjoy him whoever picks him.
4:06-The short white guy on ASU pulls up with a back. We believe this is a flash-forward to his life 25 years later at the local Y.
4:09-Christmas steals the ball from Harden and then outruns him down the other end to draw a foul on a 1 on 2. We feel this is a microcosm. We looked up micrcosm to be sure we were right.
4:12-All things considered, CBS is doing a pretty good job of tossing us to the games that are competitive. We feel this is because Billy Packer is no longer associated with the tournament.
4:17-ETSU 3 to start the half. Tie game. This is way too late for a national champ contender to be tied with a 16 seed.
4:18-TWO goes: ‘Wanna see a video of a leopard attacking someone?’ Yes. Yes we do.
4:20-ETSU misses their 100th free throw. In the ‘Anatomy of an Upset’, nowhere is it written: ‘The lower seeded team should miss all of its free throws.’ So annoying. This 16 over a 1 thing could be had. It’s right there.
4:28-THE ETSU dude screams ‘GET IT OUT!’ on a block. We rewind this a dozen times. Incredible.
4:30-The Kiss! Another Pitt turnover. ETSU is down 2. They are teasing us.
4:32-TWO breaks down the Wild Wings commercial where the flash photographer sends the game into overtime. Here are the issues he has:
-NYC and Boston fans are acting harmoniously.
-People don’t root for an outcome, rather, for the game to go on indefinitely. This is not how fans watch games.
-All the fans in attendance celebrate when the Boston player crashes into the base of the basket. If this were a real game, people would be rioting.
He is incensed. Let’s move on.
4:39-We’re now 6 minutes behind live TV because of the above paragraph. ETSU continues to miss free throws. They rebound well though.
4:43- VL claims to have had a ‘sports hernia for most of his life.’ No idea how to react to this.
4:48-Previews for ‘Fast & Furious’ air. Baffling. Hollywood really sucks sometimes. This is one of those times.
4:50-Dear everyone, press us and you can win. Signed, Pitt.
4:52-GJW makes the statement: ‘Levance Fields is the new Kalid El-Amin.’ Everyone agrees to this.
4:58-More ETSU missed free throws. Dejaun Blair tips in a miss. Pitt up 5. Blair is unstoppable. Pitt will lose when he gets in foul trouble. They’re just not that good unless he’s on the floor.
5:05-Another TO for Pitt.. 2 pt game. Blair gets an And 1. If ETSU shoots 70% from the foul line, they’re up 7 at this point. As it stands, they don’t have enough.
5:14-Ball game. Stick a fork in ETSU. The shot 50% from the line, and like 29% from the field and they were STILL in the game until the end. The Pitt Panthers everyone!
5:18-Back to Gus Johnson. We were wondering all along how he’s been doing. He didn’t like that West Virginia turned it over. GJ doesn’t like turnovers when you need buckets. Conversely, he loves the Chevrolet Players of the Game.
End of the afternoon games.