Thursday, January 8, 2009

Hadoken! Gus Johnson, Street Fighter.

ESPN the Mag had a nice little bit about our resident hero, Gus Johnson.  You can check it out here:

We've been arguing, with anyone who would listen, that you simply have to bump the team of Jim Nantz and Billy Packer off the huge college hoop games.  Nantz is a solid sportscaster.  He really is.  You know where we want our solid sportscasters?  Game #3, the 4th biggest event of the weekend, with the B crew etc.  He tells you what happens.  That's tight in golf where you have to be all quiet or Tiger Woods will snap at you, but not in the frantic, hectic, and insane NCAA tourney.

Give us Gus Johnson and give him to us every single time.  He makes terrible games decent, great games transcendent, and makes every other announcer out there sound like Ben Stein.  Recently, we did a radio show with the stats guy from the NFL announcing team of Gus Johnson and Steve Tasker.  Stats Guy also worked with GJ during March Madness.  He told us this:

'Higher seeded teams got scared when they saw Gus was working the game.  They would talk about it.  I'm not kidding.  They got nervous.  The players know.  They saw all those Davidson games, the Gonzaga upset, and on down the line.  They felt like, 'oh sh*t, Gus Johnson always calls those upsets.'

How about that bruh?  He's the best.  No one can match the genuine excitement he brings.  It's not forced, it's real.  The dude just loves it.

We've often been asked, who should his partner be?  Who is the college hoops dream team?

It's not Vitale, he's a chucklehead.
It's not Clark Kellog, although he's under rated.
It's not Packer because, as stated above, he is the worst.
It's not Jay Bilas because f*ck Duke.
It's not Len Elmore, although he'd be second on our list.

It IS Bill Raftery.  

Sample dialogue:

GJ: 'Shot clock is turned off.  UCONN, down 2, 8.5 seconds left to play.'

BR: 'They'll be looking for a dribble drive here.  Jimmy Calhoun, so good at setting up what he wants.  Putting people in place... ORCHESTRATING'

GJ: 'Roy Williams now, calling out instructions.'

BR: 'He wants Hansborough to guard the inbounder.  No easy passes.'

GJ: 'We're set to go here.  Dyson to inbound for UCONN... He does to Price in the backcourt... Drives on Lawson... KICKS IT OUT TO DYSON..... AT THE BUZZER.... OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!'

BR: 'THE ONIONS!!!!!!!'


BR: 'They drew it up Gus.  Price on the clearout, draws the defender, kicks it to Dyson... Gets the puppies set............... FERTHREE' (note, the tightness of Bill Raftery saying 'for three' in the superfastRaftery voice cannot be measured)

God that would be awesome.  Not only because of the GJ/Raftery combo but because Tyler Hansborough would be making his eli manning/hansborough I just got fouled with no call combo face.  That would be great.

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