Friday, January 23, 2009

Back to Bamas

The other day, someone goes, 'you need to get back to doing bamas posts.  It's your bread and butter.  Taking those punk b*tches down a notch or two is good for everyone.'  Mom was right.  It's on.

This week's bama is Josh Childress.

Oooooh, is this a new trend for NBA players?  Taking money overseas?  Wow, what an innovative move!  Incredible that Josh Childress and his people had the foresight to make this happen!  Will this start a flood of talent going overseas?


It's good for this dude that he got 20 mil to be an average player over in Greece.  Can't fault him for that.  The reasons he is a bama are as follows:

-His dumb hair.  We hate it when nerdy black dudes have Menace to Society Hair.  You went to Stanford you nerd.  You are a soft nerd with no real game.  The fro is bamafied unless you have A) been in prison, B) recorded a tight rap album that will still be tight in 15 years, C) are the fun black dude that always knows where the party is.  This is not Josh Childress.

-His non-game.  Here are some of the tight 3s out there: Lebron, Caron Butler, Danny Granger, Kevin Durant, Carmelo, Paul Pierce, Josh Howard.  Josh Childress fits with this group like the angry, protesting, lesbiany chick fits in at a model party.  You're too small to be a 4, but at least you can't score.

-The fact that this move spawned all sorts of absurd discussions about actual tight NBA players going to Europe.  The whole 'will Kobe go play somewhere?' thing was annoying like local tv ads.

-The fact that he isn't even dominating his JV Euro experience.  Listen bruh, at least be in the top half league wide.  What's that?  You are averaging 13 and 3 in THE GREEK LEAGUE?  You put up 9 and 5 in the Euroleague?  Jump back.  Our apologies.  At least he's out now with a 'sports hernia' which we believe is the equivalent of having a bruised ego.  Note: we are not doctors.

-Last, he was on the cover of ESPN College Hoops 2K5.  This confirms several things.  1st, the 2k series of video games are dumb.  2nd, Was Erik Barkely not available?  3rd, college basketball games are not tight.  4th, Josh Childress stands for inferior products.

So there you have it.  Thanks Josh Childress.  Thanks a lot you Greek bamapolis.

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