AL Baseball Bands

Here's an MLB preview after more than a week of games. It's how Gus Johnson's Whisper rolls. AL teams as bands:

AL EAST:

Tampa Bay Rays: The Killers. This band was all the rage. They took the world by storm and were in everyone's Ipod rotation. Then, all of a sudden, everyone was bored with them. Young talent! Maybe they overachieved last year, maybe you shouldn't need Jason Bartlett to hit .381, and maybe karma punches your shins because you kept David Price in the minors to avoid paying him money... whatever.

New York Yankees: The Rolling Stones. You have to pay what for a ticket????? Lot of name recognition, just hard to justify the price tag. The SS Sabathia should be striking dudes out on 2 pitches for that kind of money.

Boston Red Sox: The Grateful Dead. The most annoying fans in the world and a band that really isn't that good. Ortiz has a lot of Jerry parallels and their pitching (after a healthy Beckett) scares no one. 'No man, this bootleg is awesome... they go from Magnolia back into John's Cabin back into Ophelia and then into Trucking'. Translation: Pedroia is annoying because of the dumb way he wears his hat.

Toronto Blue Jays: Arcade Fire. Only the awkwardly hardcore fans know about them. Then, these hardcore fans are so over the top about how good they are, the group somehow becomes overrated. Aaron Hill!!!!!!

Baltimore Orioles: The Mickey Mouse Club. There are some stars in the room... you just have to wait until they grow up.

AL Central

Cleveland Indians: The guys that sung that song about walking 1000 miles and then walking another 1000 miles after that so they ended up walking over 2000 miles and have terrible pitching.

Detroit Tigers: Rage Against the Machine. Loud and with something to say. You can't ignore them and Jim Leyland smokes cigarettes.

Kansas City Royals: Bare Naked Ladies. 'I just made you say underwear.'

Minnesota Twins: Creedence Clearwater Revival. They did more with less (3 guys) and they kept it simple. The Twins are gonna pitch, play D, and bunt/hit and run and CCR is gonna kep getting royalties off of Chronicle.

Chicago White Sox: The Clash. A truly nasty band that no one talks about because they are not the first group people think of when they think about their home (London and Chicago). All they do is make good music and rip mediocre pitching.

AL West:

Seattle Mariners: Stone Temple Pilots. A bit obvious but not why you think judgmental jim. It's because the hot start won't translate for the whole season. That's why.

Los Angeles Angels: Jackson Browne. It's because they're 'Running on Empty'. Vlad is 1000 years old in June, pitchers are dropping like heavy objects, and they don't really scare you on offense anymore.

Texas Rangers: Megadeath. They can swing it which is the equivalent of playing really loudly. They pitch like we crochet.

Oakland Athletics: Creed. Would you buy a ticket to see this group? Ladies and gentlemen, it's Dana Eveland and Travis Buck! Can you taaaaaaaaaaake me hiiiiiiii-yer.

We'll rock the NL later this week.

Waiting for Manny

Baseball free agency this year is weird.  The first round of players got signed in a timely manner and the process played out like a normal off-season.  Then something happened or rather, stopped happening.  Teams are refusing to pony up ANY money whatsoever to sign players that could help them.

The trend now in MLB is to grow your own talent within the organization.  It was such a profound trend that it led the Yankees last year to refuse to deal prospects for the best pitcher of this generation who, by all accounts, has several great years left.  Now, those prospects who were 'untouchable', will not even make the rotation this year or next.  Ask a real Yankee fan about Phillip Hughes and they might punch your mouth.

Look at this:

Bobby Abreu, Garrett Anderson, Orlando Cabrerra, Adam Dunn, Orlando Hudson, Ivan Rodriguez, Ben Sheets, Randy Wolf, and of course, Manny Ramirez.

You're telling me that nobody wants to nut up and toss a 2 year deal for a guy that gets on base at close to a 40% clip and has had huge years outside the Bronx?  Nobody needs a 20/20 guy that scores 100 runs a year?  Memo to every team that didn't win the world series: Abreu could help you.

What about a Gold Glove 2nd baseman that hits around .300?  Oh, so you're all set with the USS Belly-ard Nationals?

We really don't get this.  The point is to win the championship and there are guys out there right now who could help teams do that but whatever.  It's like so many teams are feeding their fans horsepoop and somehow, we are eating it and asking for more.  How is this acceptable?  We need the Bureau of Fan Intervention like never before.

We're sure you all saw the news that Manny Ramirez turned down the Dodgers 1 year/$25 million offer.

http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/news/story?id=3880836

Lots of columnists (like Bill Simmons: http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/eticket/story?page=manny) don't understand why teams aren't clamoring to sign Manny.  These guys point to his .396 average in his time with the Dodgers, his career totals, and the 'raw deal' he got from Boston.

These guys don't get it.  Here's why with some bullet points which means that the points are valid:

-.396 just proves he was tanking in Boston.  No one thinks he's not capable.  Everyone knows he is.  It's just that Manny has entered Bondsian territory of being more trouble than he is worth.

-If you think Boras manipulated Manny and are giving him a pass (you're wrong), say you're right, what makes you think you won't have to go through something else?  Boras forcing a trade, voiding a deal and seeking a raise when the economy gets better, or any of the millions of other things that Manny does that are a nightmare for any team.

-If you think Manny will behave himself, what are you basing that on?  If you think he's motivated by personal milestones, you don't know enough things.  You don't know about how the Indians had to beg Manny not to take days off when he was chasing Hack Wilson's RBI record.  You don't know how the Tribe front office couldn't wait to be rid of the daily headache of assigning an army of attendants to make sure their professional hitter was where he was supposed to be.

-If you are one of those dudes that goes: 'Manny being Manny' then you shouldn't be allowed to have cable.  That's a press invention.  If you played sports beyond 8th grade, you know the truth.  Guys like that disrupt your team.  The rules that everyone else has to play by don't apply to a 'star' and it ruins things.  It's a fracture and it's always at the forefront, always discussed, debated, and analyzed.  You answer questions about it, you fight with your teammates about it, and you suffer because one guy isn't accountable to his teammates.  To a young team or a team that is learning how to win, this can be the kiss of death.

-If you do sign him at this point, you are getting a guy that can hit.  When will he hit?  You think he'll be a happy little soldier because you low-balled him and earned his services because no one else would?  You think this pouting, tanking, space cadet will want to show up and play hard for you?  You have to look at the whole body of work, not just the most recent.  3 months of good citizenship?  Not enough for us, at least not at that price.